Thursday, May 10, 2012

Just what am I supposed to be doing?

My days are crazy. . . .so crazy that I rarely get anything on my "to do" list done. This could be why I only do my "weekly" blog about once a month hahahaha.  Honestly the only thing on my list could be "fold the yellow towel," and low and behold I'd drop into bed that night exhausted from the thousands of things I did that day and yet I never got a chance to "fold that silly yellow towel."  Okay, okay stick with me, it's not about a yellow towel. It's about setting out to accomplish something only to have a ton of other things get in the way. 

I have four children, two are grown and married and the other two are in high school. So, what's the problem. . .I'm not raising little ones any longer, right? . . . my days should be so much, much easier. I truly think it can be harder when they your kids are older. When they are little you ARE their social calendar, you plug in the activities for everyone in the family. However, when they are teens they have their own social calendars. . . they make plans you just need to make them happen. . .you're now the driver. I once saw a bumper sticker that read;

My kids drive me nuts, I drive them EVERYWHERE else"  

It's so very true. My husband will ask me to run a errand for him and I will say; "I'll try, but as you know, my plans are not my own." When our oldest was a teenager and needed me to take him here and there through out the day, I'd say; "I'm on the Kevin coaster, weeeeeeeeeee!" 

Then there are those wonderful times when all the kids have plans for the evening. On those rare times I usually plan an evening of cuddling on the couch with my hubby. Awe, the tea is brewed, the popcorn popped the movie cued up and we are snuggled under our favorite comfy throw. THEN just as we start to push "play". . . .ding dong, ding dong. . .WHAT? is that really the door bell (usually one of our grown kids paying a visit). Yep, once again our plans change as we make room for our visitors on the couch, . (and lose the comfy throw in the process hee, hee). 

And so I am often left with the question; "just what AM I supposed to be doing?"  I mean my plans and to do tasks are all good and seemingly necessary things. Yet I am often in the middle of this struggle between fighting the circumstances that pop up around me and giving in to the moment and hoping I'll have time later to accomplish my list.  I keep saying, "Lord, why are these things always getting in the way of what I am striving to do?" I am quickly reminded of a scripture from Proverbs. 

The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. 
~Proverbs 16:9 

 Then I am reminded of the bible story of Mary and Martha (found in Luke 10:38-42). In this passage, Jesus tells Martha (the busy one who is complaining about not getting any help from her sister Mary) "Martha, Martha. . .you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” Wow, that's IT! I tend to struggle because I am constantly being pulled into all those "other" things and not doing what I am "supposed" to be doing. Like driving my kids here and there, or stopping by my parents for an afternoon visit, or watching a movie with our unexpected guests. Then I realize that perhaps, just perhaps I AM accomplishing EXACTLY what I am supposed to accomplish. God is directing my steps. He is in control.

So, the yellow towel can just stay unfolded as long as it takes for my kids to be dropped off and/or picked up, my visitors to be comfy and entertained and my parents to have some of my attention for an afternoon. . .and for that matter until I accomplish what is better. 

Elisabeth Elliot once said;

"When you don’t know what to do, just do the thing in front of you"

. . . and those are My Thoughts Exactly.

Until next time, keep doing what ever God brings your way. 

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